Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize