we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
