no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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