In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
