Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
