if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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