The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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