I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize