Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
