Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
