He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize