So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
