Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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