It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
