Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize