it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize