remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
