Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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