I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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