Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs