When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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