I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.