i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
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Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???