..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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