okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
