I need to stop coming to work sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
