Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Found your dick twin last night
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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