Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
