How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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