ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
