North Korea, Best Korea!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
