I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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