My hair reeks of homosexuality.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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