Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
