He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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