if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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