Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He felt like a one man threesome
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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