nut hugger
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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