did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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