i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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