You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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