If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
