We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
