I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
