Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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