Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
