Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
