He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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