Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
