Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
