I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
