dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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