some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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