Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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