How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
