I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize