Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
