you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
