I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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