too bad you live with your parents still
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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