hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
